Warning: strftime() [function.strftime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/New_York' for 'EDT/-4.0/DST' instead in /home/sycros/www/blog/post.php on line 52
Thursday, May 04, 2006, 04:43

Tragic Kingdom

Last night I was feeling nostalgic. I wanted to feel at "home" again. There wasn't one album or even a definitive song I could think of that would send me back there either. I tried so hard to think of something, anything. Nothing came to me. I even tried to arrange my songs in the order they were first created/downloaded. Still nothing. I wonder if I have came so far from my roots in music, there is no way back "home".

I guess what I mean is that I've listen to so much music, there is no specific song that can take me back. No one song sticks out. Now that I'm writing about this, I can think of a few a guess, but randomly thinking about this there's no one song that instantly pops into my head. I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that I don't think I've thought of who I am enough.

I bet no one thought I was going there. But I feel I should have a song. A song to send me back to the house of my childhood and make me feel like I'm back in middle school. I don't know if it's true but I feel everyone has a somewhat clear idea of who they are. As music being a big part of our lives, I feel like there's one song that could sum this up or at least your childhood. Some genre, album, or song that could explain you. Whether the lyrics or melody really explain anything who you are is irrelevant. It's what the individual who defines this for themselves. Maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.

Whether or not I should or should not have a self identifying song/album/genre of music is not really the point of all of this. What I'm really trying to get at after thinking about this is I want to think that I have a goal in life. That I've had a grasp on who I am for at least a majority of my life. The sad reality is, I don't think I have.

[ 7 comments ]

Warning: strftime() [function.strftime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/New_York' for 'EDT/-4.0/DST' instead in /home/sycros/www/blog/post.php on line 52
Tuesday, April 11, 2006, 01:32

ketchup

The last time I wrote here was almost four months ago. I know it’s a big cliché but time flies. And I don’t wanna say a lot has happened because it’s expected, but a lot has happened. Most people who know me, know that I am a lazy guy. But I guess you could say these have been exciting months. I feel like this introduction paragraph should be longer, but let’s just get to it.

To start things off, I met someone and she’s amazing. Sounds cheesy but it’s true. She makes me feel so good. We have so much fun together. I don’t wanna say this relationship “trumps” all others, but it’s only natural it does. Throughout life I feel you gradually learn your taste in girls, what types of personalities you work well with, and how far you are willing to compromise on things. Trust me, there are compromises to be made with everyone. If you don’t compromise, something’s wrong. Shit can’t be perfect. But back to where I was going… If you are lucky enough, your relationships get better with time. Each person is a building block in that crazy pyramid of love (someone should hit me for that). I truly feel I have hit a great, big sweet-spot in life with this girl. I enjoy her company so much.

Um… What else… Oh yeah, my car was stolen. Yeah. Again with the clichés, but it’s true what people say. You don’t expect things like this happen to you, until they do. At first when I went outside to get in my car to go to work, I thought it was just towed and I’d get it when I got out of work. But as time went by I thought to myself. “I didn’t park in a tow zone.” In fact, there was a red truck parked right where I fucking was! So after calling the police and having them check all the databases, nothing. It was stolen.

Long story short, the police “recovered” it about four days later… I should be honest though. They called me to say they saw it in an empty lot and I should go get it before the thieves come back. Thanks CPD. Seeing my car after I thought it was gone forever made me slightly happy, but after sitting in it and seeing the damage and what they took… pissed. My shit was violated. Not in the sense they took a shit in the back seat or anything, but someone fucking stole my car (technically they moved my car, took my new wheels, and two DVDs). It’s as if someone came in your room, tried on all of your clothes, throwing what they didn’t like on the floor, and making off with the stuff they did.

But enough bitching. On to one of my favorite subjects. No not porn. Shitty jobs. I have to say it’s a love-hate relationship. There are things about them I love and even more I hate. I guess that’s why I’ve never had a job for more than six months. Anywayz, the people you meet while working at the bottom is a thing of beauty. You aren’t an authority. You have no threats. So everyone wants to be your friend. I’ve come to know so many people with such different personalities in the last eleven months; it makes me want to write a book. But while the people are great, you are easily replaceable and need to be on your toes. At least some of the time. My last crappy job was as a dishwasher at State Restaurant & Cafe. I loved everyone there, from the fellow dishwashers to the owner, it was just the job that ultimately resulted in me quitting. Now I don’t mind mindless work once in a while, but washing dishes is horrible. By far the worse job I’ve ever had.

I could talk all day about the things that have happened to me in the past four months, but I’ll stop here. I don’t like using full entries to just catch up, but to some extent it’s needed. These months have been kinda odd. Fun and odd. I have really seen the “real” world I feel. I wouldn’t wanna have to do this for much longer. I’m glad I’m young and still have time…

[ 639 comments ]

Warning: strftime() [function.strftime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/New_York' for 'EDT/-4.0/DST' instead in /home/sycros/www/blog/post.php on line 52
Friday, January 27, 2006, 20:36

Jay Z has the right idea

I often find myself having long inner monologues as if I were in a Woody Allen film. There are pretty girls every where here and I can’t stop thinking about each one in length to every “what if” that could possibly take place. It’s very unhealthy. At least I think so. I mean, I think everyone over analyzes things.

I do talk to some of these girls, don’t get me wrong. I’m not the creepy guy at parties in the corner never talking and only staring. I think I have pretty good game. At least it seems like they dig me. I guess the reason I bring this all up is because I feel like all of a sudden I’m less attractive. Or every girl instantly puts me in the Friend Zone as soon as I open my mouth. As if it was some big joke on Jason… As if all the women of Chicago got together and decided never to extend a relationship with me past friendship.

The best thing I had going for me in the women department in the past few months I left in St. Louis. Sometimes I’m so frustrated with my luck or maybe it’s bad game, that I talk myself into going back home. Not only for this girl, but she definitely plays a large role in my decision process. Which is ironic because she played a major role in my choice to move back to Chi. I guess that’s not really ironic at all.

You can call me a whiner and impatient or maybe even too forward in my pursuit, but at this point in my life I’d like to have someone to share my time with. I’m not in school like most people. I just don’t know what I want to do with my life. I just need someone to fill my intimate voids. The feeling of someone liking you as much as you like them is unbelievable. I want that again.

And then again, I could just drown myself in a bottle of Jack.

[ 4 comments ]

Warning: strftime() [function.strftime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/New_York' for 'EDT/-4.0/DST' instead in /home/sycros/www/blog/post.php on line 52
Thursday, December 29, 2005, 12:47

Gaper's Block, I thank you

A few days ago I again started looking at my Chicago links I had accumlated over the years and stumbled across a rather helpful article on Gaper's Block (a web publication for Chicago). It busts some myths and supports some long time followed mysteries of me and my friends about how to drink longer and get rid of a hangovers faster. It's a must read for any college student or person who's thinking about getting really smashed on New Years, but wants to last til 3 and not just midnight. Link below.

Hangover Helper

[ 4 comments ]

Warning: strftime() [function.strftime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/New_York' for 'EDT/-4.0/DST' instead in /home/sycros/www/blog/post.php on line 52
Wednesday, December 28, 2005, 23:30

waddle on

I don’t think I’ve always operated this way. This recent decision I think is one of the first big impulse decisions I’ve made in a long time. But stepping back and looking at things, I wonder if I’ve been making impulse decisions for longer than I really understand.

Just recently, about two weeks ago, I quit my job in St. Louis and moved back to Chicago. Well, I didn’t really move back but just took my clothes and my computer and left. My family wasn’t too happy about this decision. Let me just say they were more upset and worried than anything. But I gotta do what I gotta do. I should have given my job two weeks notice before I quit, but I didn’t want to do that. I never plan on working there again, and for burning bridges. I can rebuild my reputation if that’s what it takes. I needed to take a leap. I didn’t want to ease my way out of St. Louis. I just wanted to go with the wind at my back and a smile on my face.

I have to say, it feels good. I’m kinda broke but it feels good. I did exactly what I wanted to do. Now, this wasn’t the smartest choice, but… whatever. I’ve made a lot of dumb choices in my life and I plan on making a lot more. They are a hellofa lot more fun to make then safe choices. Fuck safe. And this isn’t all about just doing what I wanna do either. I’ll be the first to admit that I messed up. This is more about taking chances and living crazy. Plus I don’t mind being a fuck up.

So yeah… I don’t know if I really care if most of my decisions are impulsive. I think I like it this way. It makes life interesting. I think there will come a time where being so impulsive and stupid won’t be so convenient anymore though. Hopefully I’ll see it coming.

[ 327 comments ]

Warning: strftime() [function.strftime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/New_York' for 'EDT/-4.0/DST' instead in /home/sycros/www/blog/post.php on line 52
Friday, December 16, 2005, 15:28

out

Today I quit my job. Last night I decided I was going to. Right now I'm on my way to Chicago where I'll pick up where I left off... hopefully.

[ 786 comments ]

Warning: strftime() [function.strftime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/New_York' for 'EDT/-4.0/DST' instead in /home/sycros/www/blog/post.php on line 52
Sunday, November 20, 2005, 22:19

the new beginning

I spent most of my childhood dreaming of what I wanted when I got older. I hardly ever enjoyed what I had at the time. As a piece of what I thought I wanted would come together, my initial happiness was only met with wanting something "better". Being older now, I've tried to think less of what I want to make me happy and more of what I want to do. But still, I haven't had much success in fulfilling that. I am only 21... Maybe I worry too much about the future. Actually I know I worry too much about the future.

I've had so many friends at so many schools. All of it has come and gone. I won't be too upset if I were to walk away from the rest of it really. I really don't want to wish for anything that I can't have anymore. Too often I wish I could restart my life from a past point. That shit is depressing to think about. To actually think you would do things different if you were given another chance is stupid. I respect people who can live now. I've never really felt that way. It needs to change.

A few nights ago I went to a party that I couldn't enter. I wasn't a student of the school it was hosted by... So I had to leave. As I walked to my car I saw a shooting star. It's the first one I've seen since I was about 10. I knew I had one wish. I wished that things would soon turn around in my life. Driving home I realized wishes like that don't come true without some effort on the wishers part.

So I will start the beginning of my new future today. A future for living for now and a better tomorrow.

[ 100 comments ]

«  1  2  3  4  5  »   XML

admin login | script by Alex