Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 22:22

west side

So I've been in LA for about 4 months now. I guess It's kind of stupid to have a blog but never update with big changes like this one. And looking at the site, it doesn't make much since for me to have a Chicago section anymore, now that I don't live there anymore. Well, at least I physically don't live there. My heart is still there.

The move was a simple one. I'm not looking to become an actor. I'm not going to "blow up" (not soon anywayz). I came to CA for the culture and weather. That and ever since I was small I dreamed of going west. I think all Americans do. It's something that draws us this way.

So here I am. Enjoying the good life. There's sun every day. It's November and I wore a t shirt all day long. I am amazed this happens. Growing up in the Midwest it's hard to understand that it's always warm and sunny. People can tell you it's like that all the time. But until you live it... There's no way of knowing the beauty of how much this type of weather can change things.

What else? Hmmm... Oh, beaches! I used to get mad at my sister for calling me while at the beach when she went to school in Florida. Now I too can just matter of factly say, "yeah... I'm at the beach." I find it hard to casually say that still when someone from good ole Chicago calls.

This about wraps up this post. CA is great. Life is great. Stay up interwebs!

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Saturday, April 11, 2009, 05:28

a birthday downy

As I sit on a stool at Schuba's I look at my crush shaking her hips to the song. She's standing in front of her boyfriend who smiles at her excitement to the music. I look on envious, wondering how that feels... To be the guy looking in to her eyes, enjoying her mood and their moment. I am completely envious. Not only minutes before I was speaking the joys of a single life. These joys are completely over exaggerated only to cover for my inability to, for lack of a better phrase, make a girl mine.

It's not just a crush but any girl I find attractive I feel helpless towards. Maybe it's a lack of confidence or a flaw in my personality. But every night I go home "empty handed". I'm not even looking to get laid. I'm just hoping for a sign of interest. A phone number, a Facebook friend. I feel like a whiny bitch and maybe I am but it's depressing.

I guess I should reevaluate things to be with someone I really like. Being myself and not holding back is what I thought I should be doing. Should I make a change? I don't want to but I think it is something to consider.

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Friday, September 19, 2008, 03:08

love & happiness

Two Al Green songs in one night in Wicker Park can not be a coincendence. I'm sitting at The Flat Iron Grill alone feeling good. I just got paid. I got a Stella draft. Life feels good if only for tonight.

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Thursday, September 18, 2008, 00:29

broked

So I think I hate my newly designed website. It took me so long to make it, I started to hate it while I was finishing. It makes me sad because I know I need to let it go and start over. This is only the second site I've ever completed completely so it's not that big of a deal I guess. I think before I kill this design I think I should fill some of the sections out with some stuff. To start that off I think I have to actually do some work.

I think I'll start on the Chicago section first. I've had this idea for a Chicago site for a while now and that section was going to house the idea until I expanded it to a separate entity. I mean I like discovering new, cool bars so much, why not make it into a site?

So in local news, for the past week and half I have had only $1.47 in my bank account. I haven't checked it for a few days so something could have tried to auto withdraw and overdrafted me. I think I'll just not check it until I get paid Friday. It won't make a difference anywayz... I'll just end up making myself sad by knowing I have even less money. So yeah... I've been surviving on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and onigiri (rice balls). I was already doing this before I went broke... I just hate going to the grocery store. Everything I want costs so much. It just ends up being frustrating. That and everything that makes me fat distracts me from what I really need to buy. I just think it's better to go when I'm desperate with no money. It makes things less painful. I don't know how the hell my parents took me and my brothers and sisters to the grocery store now to think of it. That must have been nuts!

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008, 15:06

F*ck yes!

So I was surfing digg.com yesterday and came across an article that completely answered my number one question about the Olympic games. Are the athletes fucking each other? And holy moly, the answer is more than I asked for. And the guy behind the article isn't just some journalist. He's actually a former Olympian, now commentator. Seriously, if you watched the Olympics and didn't get turned on at some point you are one, not a man and two, dumb. Check out the article.

update (12.11.08): I just noticed the two reasons why I thought someone wouldn't be turned on by an Olympian and I just wanted to correct myself. So if you weren't turned on by an Olympian you are one, probably not human... Probably some type of cyborg. And two you are dumb. That one needs no correction.

[ 1 comment ]

Friday, April 25, 2008, 01:15

Chicago dawns

I haven't written here in a long time. But I don't feel like playing catch up, so I'm gonna talk about something else. And this is the first post I've made since the redesign of hotdogjuice, so I guess it's somewhat special. Lets just get on with it...

So recently I've been coming home late/early from friend's houses. Right now I work in the bar industry where there are a lot of late nights/early mornings where people are restless and still wanna have a good time. After most people have been out and are already at home puking we stay up to get our fill of the "night". We do what party people do and then between 3 - 5 am people start to get tired. I'm not one to just pass out where ever so I'm going home. I wanna wake up with my computer across the room and the food I bought at the grocery store in my kitchen. Of course we have to be partying at someone's house across town from my house too.

Living in Chicago makes it easy to get around with the CTA (Chicago Transit Authority) and there is always a 24-hour-a-day way of getting back to my house so I just go. Buses and trains are the way to go. Some people only take cabs at this time of day, but not me. I guess trains and buses and the walk to and from could be potentially be dangerous for a woman. Taking a taxi is a logical decision for a girl I suppose. Anywayz, I'm getting away from the subject of this post. What I'm getting to hear is, the mornings in Chicago are great. Every single day, I see or do something I have never done before. And I guess, for me, what makes the mornings something especially special for me is the lighting.

The day is just beginning. The sun hasn't come up but its luminance is coming around the curves of the Earth. There's something magical about this time of day. At least for me. One morning, drunkenly, I started talking to raging lunatic of a bum. She was screaming about some girl named Carmen and how I had no business treating her "like that". All of it was completely ridiculous but I just went with it. Hell... I could listen to it or I could just join in with her. Either way my bus came and I got on. As I cruised home I probably put some music on and gave the scenery a soundtrack. A balding, white guy flicks the driver off as he narrowly misses the bus. Illuminated ads at the bus stops give me literature for the ride. The morning light hits the buildings just right. Not too much glare. Just enough to give the glass the right blueish tint. Everything is so silent.

Arriving at my stop for a half-block walk to my door I usually take a deep breath. While buses are an excellent way to travel they usually don't smell that great. But the real reason I do it is because I love when the Chicago dawn's air hits my lungs. It's probably 6 am.

[ 4 comments ]

Saturday, July 15, 2006, 14:53

MoBot

I recently just got a new job. I never thought I'd be working in a coffee shop, but it happened. I've dicovered that I don't hate working with people as much as I thought.

I have realized something over the last few months in search for a job. I don't really end up liking a job until I've stopped working it.

The job I had previous to washing dishes, the first job I had in Chicago after coming back, was at the Missouri Botanical Gardens in St. Louis. I mowed grass there... I was a part of the Turf Crew. From when I started until about September I worked with Todd and David. Two guys in there 30s who had been doing work like this most of there lives. Both had gone to college, but neither graduated. I think they learned long ago, that the outdoors and the type of work can give you a certain freedom.

When you mow grass, someone might be watching you, but not all the time, and usually not often. Besides that, no one can ultimately control and/or monitor your every move. It's just not pratical and for that matter,possible (unless they are tied to your waste or riding on your back).

So, Todd and David learned the rules. They learned to deal with the politics and the hierarchy of things. Me being new, I didn't completely understand or care to put up with it. I guess that's ultimately why I quit. But I really liked working outdoors. After work, you really felt like you accomplished something. That you did something important. And I liked that. And I think Todd and David knew that when they made their career choices. That and learning to let go of their hang ups of having a boss telling you what to do.

Waking up early in the morning may be a bitch, but sometimes you understand why you get up for the grind. Other than the money, there are days where you understand why you do it. Why you sweat and tire yourself all day. There's a certain appreciation and renewal you get from yourself.

Also, working somewhere so beautiful is worth it. There were times where the gardeners would take you aside, and show you the best spots to stand and admire nature... It was like nothing I felt in my life. In the fall, the way the light hits the leaves at 7 AM... It makes you feel... It makes you feel good.

Sometimes I wish I could go back. But the way I quit, I don't think they'd let me. I think they'd laugh and slam the door in my face. I wouldn't be mad at them for doing it either. I did quit giving them 6 hours; the end of the day. And that night I drove to Chicago, where I am now.

I have endless stories of stuff that happpened there and stories of beauty you could only see to believe. But... They will have to stay just memories. I'll never live that life again. Every once in a while I remember how much I hated working there when I did. But maybe one day I'll return to working in a botanical garden. But nothing like the time I had that summer and not anytime soon.

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